There’s No Summarizing the Latest Installment of DCM Enterprises’ Lunacies

Der Chelonian in space.Are the continuing adventures of the employees of DCM Enterprises actually transmissions from the universe where Hunter S. Thompson was an avid role-player? This latest installment offers some pretty compelling evidence:

It was then that the charge was blown, and the battle was joined. Behind a rolling, flaming child rode a half-android monk riding a shark who decided to even things up a bit by casting a three-foot-high fog into the crag. The smell of burning hair extensions was only drowned out by the high-pitched screams of strippers who could not see the shark that was tearing through them to impale it with their stripper-pole spears.

DCM Enterprises Episode 84: A Chateau In Darkness…

Der Chelonian in space.The Return of DCM Enterprises gets a little frisky in episode 84, “A Chateau in Darkness…”:

Takemiya, being a monk, had avoided the undisciplined distractions of female attention for well over six decades. But even his untrained carnal senses were telling him that Grandma was all over his shit and if he wasn’t careful, they’d be making the Heavenly Banging Cannons before too long. He was already suspicious of the tea, and as his eyes scanned the room for a neglected houseplant in which to dispose of the liquid, he noticed more than a few things. Firstly, there was no bed. Secondly, there was a wheelchair in the corner that looked as old as Grandma herself. Thirdly, there was a rocking chair in the middle of the room. Not only was that a weird place for a rocking chair, but there was a small spot of dried blood on the arm…

New England Role Players Association Chooses Sides in the Greyhawk Wars

Greyhawk: Wars cover.

Greyhawk: Wars cover.

This week on the New England Role Players Association podcast, they begin the second of three adventures centered around one particular story in the realm of Greyhawk:

After the elvish kingdom of Celene suffers and unprovoked assault from the neighboring county of Pomarj a counter offensive is mounted with the aid of the Ulek States nearby. The goal? To put an end to random raids once and for all? Vengeance for the towns and citizens maimed, killed and abducted from the assault? Perhaps the royals of the Ulek States and Celene merely want access to the wealth in the hills of the Pomarj? Whatever the cause, three men volunteer to join the fight and find themselves being sent on a scouting mission away from the battle lines . . .

New England Role Players Association Consider the Good of the Few Over the Good of the Many

5430798The New England Role Players Association posted the grand finale of their Ravenloft campaign, “For the Good of the Few”:

Jameer, Baleroc, Brutus and Kevlar have thwarted the great lich Azalin. Or so they thought. It turns out they’ve played along with his dastardly plans. Now they find themselves at a crossroads with a decision that could shape the fate of Ravenloft and every other realm that has ever been. Do they have the strength to plunge into darkness once more and end this evil or has Ravenloft worn them out and whittled away their will? Their choice may surprise you…it surprised me!

DCM Enterprises Episode 79: Chicken Heart

Der Chelonian in space. DCM Enterprises’ recent update features this heart-stopping moment:

Bursting through a section of dungeon wall as if it were the last three sheets of toilet paper the morning after free burrito night at “Disreputable Sanchez’ All Night Burrito Bin” was the largest, meanest, toothiest and certainly unrotissiereiest chicken anyone had ever seen.

This is what you get when you follow Madmartigan around the Undermountain. This is what you get.

Ravenloft: From the Shadows Part 2

5430798New England Role Players Association posted the finale to From the Shadows, leading to the climax of their year-long Ravenloft campaign:

The conclusion of From the Shadows leading us up to the finale of the Grand Conjunction and what might be the end of Ravenloft as we know it…

Deep beneath the foundation stones of Castle Avernus, Azalin the lich hatches his plots. The grand conjunction is coming, when all the lands and lords of Ravenloft will be set free upon the realms of man. Azalin does not intend to let this oppurtunity slip by. All he needs are a few dead bodies. Fortunately, there is a party of adventurers nearby… This is the first of two adventures that feature Azalin the lich and Strahd von Zarovich in their eternal conflict.